Miss Independent’s Territory

烦, 很烦.. 所以这几天都干脆 把电话关了.从来都没那么烦过. 我现在什么都不想 想.只想好好地静一静,把头脑, 心灵都冷静下来. li fern, perhaps i should go for retreat now? and sorry ya ws, these few days cannot contact me bout the grad dinner thinggie. 

so, i went to swim today, only managed a few lapse coz the pool at the club was flooded with people. without warm ups, my knees and arms are currently in pain. 

okay, i have a confession to make here. I didn’t attend any of mr b’s lessons this month. let me count, including today, 1, 2, 3,4.. i was absent for four times!! he must be disappointed with my behaviour. not to mention, i’m pretty disappointed with myself too. having conflict with myself now, what are you thinking panda? what are you doing? since when have you become so irrational and irresponsible? since when? aren’t you the 乖乖学生？ 

part of me just don’t feel like going to his lessons anymore; again i know i’m doing the wrong thing. i know.but, I’M TIRED OF LIVING UNDER somebody else’s shadow. i’m tired of forcing myself to be perfect because i’m not. i’m sick of all the stereotypes given by anybody else.

So i have made the biggest mistake in my life– i’m quitting. not going to bell anymore! not taking CAE anymore though mum has paid for the fee. call me a quitter! chicken! wateva, i just wan a change! as long as i take my english seriously, nobody would deprive me from success even if i stop my lessons at bell. it’s time to be on my own now! 

痛！痛！痛！痛了就要喊！！ 我现在就要为了自己而活，别人的眼光或对我的期望，很抱歉。这是我的人生，我不能时时都顺着你们所规定的路去走，因为我想走出我自己的人生。我不想在以后才后悔。。长痛不如短痛，做了决定，以后的路就要勇敢的走下去。时间会证明我的选择是否对或错。

这烦恼也该就此结束。加油！熊猫！走出来！别再为了不要伤害老师而勉强自己！痛够了吗？

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